First! is an easy-to-use self-guided parenting plan software created to help separating and divorcing parents better understand, and work through, the legal separation and divorce process to cooperatively minimize the stress on their children.
Because co-parenting greatly improves the ability of parents to protect the emotional and physical health and chances for success of children of divorce, we want to help families work through the details in a way that protects the children. When the children’s needs remain a priority throughout the separation, divorce and the years to follow, everyone wins.
Child psychologists, family court judges, mediators, and family law attorneys agree that children of divorce are adversely affected by a parents who cannot come to agreements on how to co-parent after the marriage ends. We know you love your children. We also know that despite the dissolution of the marriage, most parents want to have an equal role in their children’s lives long after separation and divorce. Kids
First! is designed to help you
build a plan that you can both agree to,
protecting the children from animosity and anger
from long and costly custody battles. Parents who have used Kids
First! agree that when you work together, everyone wins!
The family law expert and parenting advisor for Kids
First! is Henry Koltys, a family law mediator, a single father, a retired judge and attorney, Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) for neglected and abused children, he has experienced, first-hand, how family separation and divorce affect children. Mr. Koltys is a bar member of the San Francisco Bar Association and the Supreme Court of Vermont. The wisdom and guidance within Kids First! reflect his over 30 years of legal experience and 21 years of parenting.
Mr. Koltys continually improves the content of Kids
First! by consulting with family law judges, attorneys, mediators, and therapists who focus on mediation, collaborative divorce, and conflict avoidance. He is Chairman and General Counsel of InCap Corporation, the company responsible for Kids
First!, and Chairman of The Sophia Foundation, a 501(c)(3) non-profit that supports the family law court system and children and families in transition. InCap and Sophia are donating a free version of Kids
First! to the courts, families in need,
Mr. Koltys is also a family law mediator, child
custody advisor, and divorce coach, helping
parents, children, and spouses survive the
break-up of the family. To learn more about his
family law practice, visit
Mr. Koltys is also a member of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals, an international community of legal, mental health, and financial planning professionals who work together to resolve family law conflict. IACP members use a multi-disciplinary team approach to dispute resolution (usually separation and divorce), which includes attorneys, coaches, a financial specialist, and when there are minor children, a child specialist working interactively as co-equals.
“Death, divorce, and separation are the three most stressful events in life, according to psychological research, so families who break up receive a triple blow since a family break-up is really a death. The family members need to acknowledge this death and work through issues around grief, loss, responsibility, and guilt, whether through self-help such as reading and taking time to reflect or with trained professionals in group or individual therapy.
Separation or divorce can be an opportunity for positive change, personal growth, and even transformation. With a good attitude and guidance from Kids
First!, parents can create or improve positive relationships between each parent and the children. Parents who work together to avoid conflict will benefit their child for a lifetime.
Separation or divorce can provide opportunity for positive change, personal growth, and even transformation, despite the obvious challenges. With a good attitude and guidance from
parents can create or improve positive relationships between each parent and the
children. Parents who work together to avoid conflict will benefit their child
for a lifetime.”
As parenting advisor for Kids First!, Ms Light offers her 32 years of experience as a relationship counselor, artist, teacher, published author, and single mother providing parenting, teaching, and counseling children, families, abused women, and terminal cancer patients.
“When I helped Henry create the parenting help for Kids
First! my goal
was to teach parents and children how to avoid and resolve conflict caused by separation and divorce.
Clear communication and cooperation between parents teaches children the value of conflict resolution,
collaboration, and leadership, all valuable skills in today's complex and fast-paced world.
Based upon my teachings around loss and
grieving, I know that this time of transition
can be an opportunity for personal growth and
the raising of consciousness. Kids
provides guidance to parents going through
separation and divorce to learn from their loss
and move forward in a way that puts their kids
first, heals their family, and enables them to
be positive about life and open for a new
Ms. Light lives in Sausalito, just over the Golden Gate Bridge from San Francisco, where she teaches sculpting, personal transformation, and dreamtending. Cassandra is internationally recognized for her teachings of personal transformation at Way of the Doll, a school she founded in 1980. Her book published in 1996,
Way of the Doll: the Art and Craft of Personal Transformation, is the standard reference text used by teachers and students of depth psychology and personal growth around the world. To learn about her teachings and her art, visit www.wayofthedoll.com.
Ms. Light founded the Sophia Foundation in 1995,
it's mission is to support and promote the arts and consciousness to the arts,
and to protect children and families in transition
during separation and divorce. She was asked to provide parenting advice based upon her sought-after teachings of personal transformation when faced with devastating loss.
Since 1994, InCap has developed software like Kids
First! for consumers and businesses to enable non-experts to make decisions like an expert. For more information, visit www.incap.com
InCap and Sophia
Foundation donate a free version of Kids
First! to family law courts, families in need,